Lorena's Art and Prose

The Docent and the Drunken Mariner

2011-08-22T13:29:00.000-07:00

I was a docent at the local Museum of Art and History. He was an interested art enthusiast …or maybe he was just lost.

The wiry gentleman, dressed in dark blue trousers, dark blue turtle neck sweater, and a mariner’s cap, walked uneasily into the empty gallery where I was working as docent, on a quiet Sunday afternoon. He didn’t look too steady on his feet and I made mental note to myself as to how I might manage the situation if he were to become a “problem,” as he was clearly intoxicated – and I was alone.

He tilted a bit on his feet, tipped his cap to me, and then turned into the main gallery. We had a display that week of artworks that consisted of a number of giant canvases on each one of which the artist had painted no more than two or three huge stripes in pastel colors– nothing else! In my opinion, the entire show was ludicrous! I had seen the artist’s work decorating the walls of the Administration building of our local college and was astounded to learn that they had been purchased at great expense. The artist was a teacher in the Art Department. I suppose that being an art teacher gives one the automatic position of “credible artist” - One more proof of my perception that position often holds more weight than talent in today’s art world.

My opinion of this exhibit was clearly established and I wished to give no further information on the subject to visitors to the Museum. If I had spoken, I would have told them that the art was junk and the society who thought it was worthy enough for a major exhibit, downright stupid. The job of a docent is to educate the visitors concerning the displays, not to tell them that coming in would be a waste of their time.

And so I observed from afar as the gentleman in the mariner’s cap made his way through the gallery, stopping before each painting, swaying to keep his balance, rubbing his chin in thought, and shaking his head as if in disbelief. He spent a half hour in the small gallery, giving each work his full, lengthy, albeit “fuzzy,” attention.

His tour finished, he came out and walked towards me. I waited to see what he would do. He stopped in front of me, his body waving like a sapling in the wind, pushed his cap back on his head, looked straight into my eyes with an expression of awe, and said: “PROFOUND!” Then he turned and made his way out the door.

I leave you to your own conclusions.

Bed Bugs and Valor

2011-06-15T18:36:00.000-07:00

Bed bugs will eat anything! Fingers or tummies – It makes no difference to them. Where they light, they eat. How do I know this? I have been the unwilling recipient of their attention. One solitary bed bug managed to restaurant-hop up one leg and then across my neck, on two successive nights. He was found and executed for his offenses, Old West style! The next morning, I arranged a visit by the pest control man, who found nothing to indicate a major infestation (only the shell of a long-dead one), and told me “I probably had only one.” Only one?

Somehow, that pronouncement did not quite convince me. I proceeded to gather up any and all removable materials in room or closets that could withstand a good washing and an hour’s run through the dryer on the highest heat setting, bagged them, and spent the next two days pretty much camped out in the laundry room. Everything was then duly returned to its place, or sealed in bags to store, with no little trouble and time lost from more interesting pursuits that I had intended.

I might have heaved a sigh of relief and forgotten the whole matter if I had not had the constant reminder of this first visit in the form of angry welts that burned and itched like fire constantly - and lasted several weeks! The series of bite marks on soft skin had merged into large patches of angry red leathery skin that resisted all my efforts to comfort. The constant itch and burn was so distracting that it took all my energy to concentrate on my usual activities at home or work, and the word “rest” was thrown out of my vocabulary. My first encounter ever with this creature of historical fame had managed to create an anxiety in me that my faith had previously held in control when faced with pain or difficulty… I was afraid to go to sleep at night!

The itching madness finally left and there were no more bug bites for a couple months. I had just started going to bed at night without being afraid to go to sleep, when darned if one didn’t come back for another visit, on which he feasted on a knuckle and a big toe. I was awakened a couple nights ago from a dead sleep at 2:00 AM, by an excruciatingly painful, itching fire that extended from the knuckle of my finger, all the way up my arm, and another one radiating from my big toe. Upon close inspection, and with the hope that the spider (that by odd chance had just bitten me on the knee), was the only culprit, I discovered the now recognizable marks of two bed bug bites. Two? Two bites only, but how such a miniscule creature can cause so much pain and itching, I’ll never understand. I didn’t sleep the rest of the night.

One bed bug does not an invasion make, but “one bed bug” didn’t show up this time to face the jury process. I figure this one may be planning a family and I’m not happy about it!

Before I go further, let me assure you that my house is frequently cleaned, uncluttered and simply furnished. There are not a lot of places bed bugs would be happy in here. Yet, I’m crushed! The local news warned of a growing plague of these critters in our city a few months ago, but you know how it is….”This can’t ever happen to me.” It did. Granted, I’m not overrun, but the fear of becoming so is ever present.

In my life, nothing has ever happened to me of a painful nature that I have not benefited from in the long run. So I take the thought seriously and ask myself what I am to learn from this as-yet unfinished experience. My efforts to search out and destroy have been fruitless, I have no idea if this bug is going to "go forth and populate", and I have absolutely no control over the situation! I am in constant “itch mode,” worried that if more bugs appear, the apartment manager will make me bag everything in my house and move out for a month while the exterminators do their thing (the indicated process), and stressed over the possibility that I may be “eaten alive” as I lay my head on my pillow each night.

I’m thinking…valor! Well, I’ve learned a lot of lessons in my life in patience, perseverance and acceptance of what one cannot change, but the valor of the martyrs is missing. Wow! That’s a big one. I’ve long admired the valor of those men and women who have undergone the most painful experiences imaginable with loving patience and become saints, leaving a better world in their stead. I’m no saint, and this is not medieval torture I’m facing, but it has caused enough pain and fear momentarily in my life that I am suffering an anxiety I’ve never before known. Anxiety is not productive. Grace “under fire” is!

I’m going to work on that valor. Given the state of our world right now, maybe we should all work on valor. If it takes something as small as a pinhead to make us a bigger person, so be it!

Sekishu-Banshi: papermaking in the Iwami region of Shimane Prefecture

2011-02-01T11:19:00.000-08:00

The making of washi. Where the word "paper" takes on a whole new meaning - and it's sublime!

Look Ma! ...no hands!

2011-01-29T11:43:00.000-08:00

Time? What is that?

In everything in my life - except art - I do best with a plan and a deadline. Why not in art? I'm not sure, but recently this has come to my attention, as I "ruined" one painting and "got sick" over another, both of which were to be delivered before specific dates. Fortunately, the person who commissioned the paintings is a lovely friend and is not upset. I am! I will avoid deadlines for art in the future. Why is a deadline to essential to my best work in all other areas, and a "killer" when applied to my art? Perhaps creativity needs wings and not a cage!

Rapsodie Japonaise - The Akira Ifukube Blog: Portrait of a Composer

2011-01-15T22:19:00.000-08:00

Rapsodie Japonaise - The Akira Ifukube Blog: Portrait of a Composer: "Certainly, many of the world's great composers have been immortalized in paint. One can think of the famous portraits of composers such as M..."

Resolution Go Round - It's a New Year!

2011-01-01T16:43:00.000-08:00

Year before last, I didn’t make any New Year’s resolutions because I had never been very good at keeping them. Last year I figured I wasn’t good at keeping them because I wasn’t writing them down and scotch-taping them to the wall in the bathroom. So I did. And I didn’t (keep them). This year I’ve finally figured it out: I will write down all my resolutions on a calendar, schedule them, day by day, hour by hour, and set my alarm clock as needed. Don’t laugh. I’ve used this technique before. The word “order” is a hard one to spell for an artist, but I must be only half-artist because in the past, I’ve often accomplished more – and created better art - when things around me were organized. Go figure!

I never go on a trip without first cleaning my house and making sure everything is put away; before leaving, I make a list of the things I’ll need, pack everything and put it all by the door - except what I’m going to wear (hung ceremoniously on a single hanger, every last item); I plan what time I need to leave, and leave when expected; I get more done when I organize my “to do” pile for the following day and place the “do first” items on top of my keyboard where they will shout “liar!” at me if I move them before turning on the computer… and I am only truly relaxed for painting when my apartment is tidy.

This need for order is not entirely a revelation to me. I’ve experienced its good results a few times in the past. And why have I not made order a priority in my life since I don’t seem to really get “anything” done any more? Aha! That’s the artist in me! Apparently, I’ve been fighting myself for years. The question is: do I really want to get to the bottom of my “to do” piles? (Yes, I have several of them, and I don’t know where they all are. My orderly self put them away when I was cleaning the house before I went on a trip last summer.)

Do you get the feeling that I’m turning in circles here? It's time to get this resolution thing under control...

First point of order: stop the circle! So I sat down to think about my priorities (did the dishes first); made a list (vacuumed first); printed out a 2011 calendar (answered some emails first); began coordinating the hours of the day with the list (then straightened up the apartment)…but where did I put my calendar? Should I set the alarm clock by the computer? Not yet...where did I put that calendar!

Found the calendar in the drawer with my unfinished painting projects. Thought of a new priority for my list: “Pay attention where you put things when you straighten up the apartment.” Looking at one of the paintings, I decided to work on it, closed the drawer, and pulled out my paints. Hmm…making more time to create art was on the list. Painted for two hours and forgot to eat. Decided to listen to my new CD while part of the painting was drying. Fell asleep to the music. I believe that getting more rest is also on my list. Woke hungry. Ate lunch, went on Facebook, read a good comment about my blog, went to the blog to reply, decided to write a new post. Remembered that posting regularly to my blog was one of my resolutions.

Resolutions?

The house is clean, I’ve finished a painting, got some rest, wrote a new article for my blog, found my calendar…

Several incoming emails announce themselves with the familiar “ping”...I remember I haven’t gone down to get my mail yet…and the phone rings. I grit my teeth and pencil in “December 31, 2010” on the calendar. Don’t stop me now! I’m on a roll here. Circles are for rolling, aren't they...?

2010-12-29T21:56:00.000-08:00

A good friend said to me one day that he wished he had a portrait of one of his favorite composers, Jean Sibelius. I quickly replied: "I can do that!" I'd always wanted to paint portraits, but I had thought my artistic talents not up to the task, so I had never tried. Life without challenges, however, has never been appealing to me either. The promise was made. It was up to me to make good on it. And so I began...not without trepidation. I suddenly realized that I was facing an inner fear of failure as an artist, armed not with experience or skill, but with nothing more than stubborn determination. Quite frankly, I didn't know what I was doing! Not a few art books and Utube tutorials accompanied me on my "journey." It took me a full year to finish the portrait, amidst tears, doubt, and wonder as the painting progressed. Apparently I "did good." Herra Sibelius' new owner is happy! I heaved a sigh of relief (and gratitude) at my accomplishment, and my friend and I talked again about great music and composers, as we often do. Within a few days, I found myself "playing" with a pencil rendition of his other favorite composer, Akira Ifukube. What was I doing! What inner voice was driving me to face the fear of attempting another portrait? I've often wondered at how little control I seem to have over my life. Sometimes the love of challenge drives me to do things I might not attempt if I thought more about them. I sketched a fair likeness of Ifukube in pencil, and showed it to my friend, whose surprise was expressed in one of the most heartfelt laughs I've ever heard. He liked it! Joy begets joy: I was committed! All the fears and doubts of the first portrait flooded over me again as I began to paint. One portrait does not a great portraitist make! ...and I knew it. Let's make a long story short: portrait number two is finished and it only took me a few months. The moral of the story is not that I have learned to paint portraits. It is that a challenge should never be denied. How do we know what we can do unless we try it! I guess the fear of facing a new challenge is the shot of adrenaline that we need to see what we are made of. And overcoming a challenge is the best way to grow that I know. I love it!

Postscript: Thanks, EH! I gave myself the challenge, but without your inspiration, the challenge would never had been met.

Gallery no - Public yes!

2009-12-31T11:49:00.000-08:00

The Little Italy Artwalk was spruced up a bit this year by a three other artists and myself who were invited to paint the utility boxes. In a couple of weeks, we had transformed those ugly military green boxes into bright colors commemorating the fishing history of Little Italy - just before the annual Art Walk, that saw 30,000 visitors! Here are mine in front of the well-known Pizza Place and Italian Delicatessen, Filippi's. But wait...is that Blick Art Materials across the street? Sure is. Finally got my art to San Diego. How many people go to art galleries? How many people visit Little Italy's two favorite places? Hey, even if somebody SAT on my boxes, I made my presence known. I think I'll stay on the street. I like it there!

My Life - Your verdict

2008-08-11T10:44:00.000-07:00

I'm writing my life story. "Oh Wow!", you're going to say, "Everyone will be so anxious to read the autobiography of Lorena Bowser!" And I ask: "Does one have to be famous to be read?" I often wonder how it is that a famous actor, actress or sportsperson can suddenly take up watercolor painting or write about their climb to fame and "everyone" IS anxious to buy the book or go to their exhibit. Hey! They don't even have to be good. Fame makes everything "right". What is the difference between fame and obscurity? Nothing! We are all just people, and I'll venture that we "just people" have overcome some very interesting challenges in our lives. I don't write about my experiences from an author's viewpoint, but rather as an observer. I'm fascinated by where life has led me and amazed at the unexpected turns it has taken. And so I write. Will I publish? That depends in large part on you! Will you read and give me your honest feedback? I'm publishing a chapter a week on my Prose and Cons site. You may come in at the middle somewhere, but no matter. I'll do a rerun of the chapters written after they've gone around. Here's the link:

Author's Preview

My trip to France at 18, and return to the U.S. from Mexico are major turning points and provide a bit of excitement. If you miss these chapters, just keep reading. They'll return.

New work published!

2008-06-04T20:37:00.000-07:00

I've just published my latest book of poetry with some selections of my artwork. I invite you to see its debut here ! My book's title, "In a thinkle", is a line from one of my poems, that speaks of the challenges and joy of rhyming.